Tips to get past your Valentine's Day Blues
There’s something special about sharing personal stories online. While I wouldn’t say we’re doing it just for the views (though there's no harm in that), as an aspiring mental health professional, I really appreciate starting my blogs with a brief anecdote from my own experiences. If you enjoy this, feel free to share, save it for future reference, and, of course, enjoy reading!
Last year around this time, I found myself in a “Situationship” with someone I'll refer to as Mr. D. To keep it brief, we were seeing each other for about two weeks before I decided to end things. At the time, it felt like the right decision, but unfortunately, it happened just before Valentine’s week. Sadly the season of love wasn’t so lovely for me. Even though February 14th didn’t trouble me too much, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being a bit “odd, queasy, or left out.” These feelings are commonly referred to as “Valentine’s blues.” Who knew, right ?
Some of the most common root causes for this can look like:
Loneliness: Oh my gosh, yes! So, get this: when everyone tells you to focus on yourself during "love is in the air" season, I totally understand the sentiment. Self-love is certainly important. But honestly, on days like this, it just doesn't cut it for me.
Social Comparison: Here’s the truth: I still find myself comparing my life to that seemingly perfect couple I see on Instagram. Why do I do this? Honestly, I don't know. But it leaves me with a strange, uncomfortable feeling. I can only imagine how much harder it is for real couples. Looking at those flawless images, perfect gifts, and stylish outfits only perpetuates the vicious cycle of social comparison.
Seasonal Affective Disorder: The disorder is characterized by feelings of deep sadness or grief. For some, this experience often coincides with the winter season, during which individuals may face several challenges, including low energy, sadness, and social withdrawal, among other symptoms. For someone struggling with SAD, it might be even harder to engage in the celebrations. To add on to that, the lack of sunlight during this time can also worsen symptoms of depression and fatigue.
So what to do on such days then ? Especially for the ones who are single out there or are even in “complicated situationships”. Well worry not mate (insert British Accent), because I have got you covered with some great tips and tricks to overcome it, or rather just get through that day!
Tricks and Tips to follow:
Time-out from social media:
This is a tip that I myself would also love to try out ! Time-out has been recently working out for me during my “temper times”. So time-out over here does not necessarily mean that you completely isolate yourself from your phone and do nothing. But instead try these:
Try reducing the colour grid on your phone so that whatever social content is online won’t be as attractive to watch.
Sleep, just call it a day and take a long nap! (Pro tip- it would hit even better when you have your favourite meal topped with your favourite dessert) !
Watch your favourite show/doodle your favourite art/listen to your favourite podcast, songs.
2. Celebrate with your favourite people:
Yes for sure Galentine’s is celebrated a day before Valentine’s. But who says that we are supposed to follow these rules? So take this very cutesy day to celebrate your favourite people- let it be your girlies, friends, parents, cousins etc. And to add a bit more sizzle and spice to your outings, try out some new activities together such as:
Going to a vineyard (if at all it is available in your city).
Try out art cafes (you can also try out activities such as tufting, t-shirt painting, pottery).
Invite your friends over for a movie night and whip up something yummy!
3. Identify and Acknowledge your feelings and emotions:
Yes this would be a tad bit different and uncomfortable even for some of us. But at the same time if you feel like these “uncomfortable emotions” are getting too overwhelming for you to handle, then well you know the drill, it is never too late to seek help !
4. Writing a current and a future letter to your future partner:
Now, before anyone comes at me lol, trust me this is a tried and tested method in my own personal therapy session. I am someone who is still working on oneself in terms of my self-esteem and confidence. And with low self-esteem comes a whole lot of doubts,reassurances needed from others.
On days when you’re trying to understand your emotions, take a moment to write them down on a piece of paper as if you were addressing a letter to your current partner (if you have one). After that, envision your future self and write a letter to your future partner. You’ll likely notice a significant shift in the tone and wording of your letter. This exercise has two outcomes:
First one being you become more comfortable with expressing your emotions, especially if you don’t want to talk about them with anyone else.
Second one being, if you ever want to give your future/current partner a cutesy letter to express yourself, well you already have it all ready.
So how are we feeling after this blog? I hope that it was light and easy to take in? And at the same time very helpful and insightful! As a Mental Health Content Writer, there are certain tips/things that I write about, but might not really follow it myself, and you know what that does really bother me as it makes me feel like a “hypocrite”. So this time when I was researching for this blog, I did want to feel and be as realistic and relatable as possible to each and every one of you reading this blog.
How about we make a pinky promise to each other? Let’s commit to following at least some of these tips and simply be ourselves this upcoming Valentine’s Day! As mentioned in the image above, “I ol-ive you” all! Until the next post, sayonara, my lovely readers! Happy Valentine’s week to everyone out there!
